If You Want Me To

I started song-writing again tonight... It has been probably a few years since I've seriously written anything.  It was absolutely wonderful.  It also turned into time that I could spend with God.  Last night, I wrote about how I have trouble letting go when I lead worship and how it's so much easier when I'm by myself.  I want that feeling on Sunday.  I got it tonight when I was playing alone.

I get caught up in how I sometimes feel trapped by having to write "positive" songs.  And everything I turn out that's supposed to be happy sounds like bad bubblegum pop.  It sounds really fake.  My mentor reminded me that life can still be messy.  We know how it's going to end, of course, but in the moment there is a place for songs that have some pain in them.  In knowing this, it makes it so much easier to write.  I guess the best way to think about it is if I'm imperfect, shouldn't my songs reflect that?  I'm definitely not perfect, so I think it's okay to not pretend like I am.

My mentor recommended listening to "If You Want Me To" by Ginny Owens.  It really helps because it's such an honest song.  The lyrics show that the singer still trusts God, even when things are hard.  There are things that aren't resolved in the song, but that's okay.

"It may not be the way I would have chosen
When You lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'd never go alone"