What I've Overcome

In trying to blog each day, my hope is that no one thinks I have things together or everything figured out.  I don't.  I'm a mess, but I'm working on it.  :-)

I hope that being open and honest will help others feel like they can be too.  I used to think that no one else could possibly be struggling with the things I struggled (and still struggle) with.  What if people could just be more open about their mess?

I've found that one of the biggest lies is believing that no one else could possibly be dealing with the things you're going through.  And if other people knew what you were struggling with, well, they just wouldn't like you anymore.  I have believed it.  I now know it's a lie and it's one of the ways the Enemy tries to have some power over us.  Even knowing that, I feel like sometimes it's easier to tell God what you're struggling with and then not tell anyone else.  But that's not the right answer either.

Probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do is share my story.  And each time it was difficult, even one-on-one.  But nothing was scarier than sharing in front of the entire congregation at church... When I got the email about sharing for Calvary on Campus, I immediately heard God say "You're doing that."

Wait, what?  Can we talk about this?

The answer was no.

I begged and pleaded and tried to bargain, but it didn't get me anywhere.  I was torn because I knew that I was being called to share and yet was completely terrified of the consequences of doing so.  So I submitted my story.  And waited.  They had a lot of people willing to share and a small part of me hoped that my story wouldn't be picked.

But it was.  And to top it all off, I was going to go first.

Wait, first?  I can't listen to the other ones and modify at the last minute if it's not going to go over well?  Yeah, no.

You know what though?  I can't even begin to tell you how glad I am that I went through with it.  I don't have to hide or worry about what will happen if people knew who I was.  Even months later I still have people coming up to me and telling me how much they appreciated me sharing.  Nobody shunned me and I'm still loved.

So, if my mess helps somebody else, then that's awesome!  Above all else, I just want everyone to know that God has completely turned my life around!

"If only you could see me yesterday
Who I used to be before the change
You'd see a broken heart
You'd see the battle scars
It's funny how words can't explain
How good it feels to finally break the chains
I'm not what I have done
I'm what I've overcome"