Someone's Work of Art

Tonight was my last servant team meeting for Penn State Christian Grads (PSCG), the Cru group for grad students.  Since our terms now run January through December, my time serving officially is over.  If I could've continued, I would've accepted in a heartbeat, but I will be graduating in May and will no longer be eligible to serve in that capacity.

This term was shorter than usual.  We served from May through tonight because we changed our terms to January to December from May to May.  But in the shortened term, I have grown so much.

Tonight as a team we shared things we are thankful for in our own lives, the servant team, PSCG, etc. It was really cool to hear everyone's thoughts.

For me, I know I have gained a lot of confidence.  When Ash first told me that the group had elected me, I thought it was a mistake.  I never felt like I had good ideas to contribute.  As someone who hardly talks or offers any thoughts in group discussions, leading in this way was a challenge.  I spent a lot of time praying and thinking about whether or not to accept.  I'm so glad I did.  Being able to grow in friendship with everyone on the team and build trust made it possible for me to start saying what I was thinking.  I learned that I do have good ideas to contribute and my opinion does matter, whether or not that's the one that we go with or not.  I'm still working on being more vocal with my ideas and praying out loud...

I feel like it's bad to say, but I hate praying out loud.  I enjoy praying silently.  I will even pray out loud by myself...but I dread being called on in a group.  Silly as it is, I have always felt like people are judging how I say things or even what I say.  I feel like I never sound as eloquent as everyone else.  I don't feel like I have the "right" fancy and flowery vocabulary that everyone else seemed to learn.  My heart starts racing and I stumble all over my words (embarrassing for someone aspiring to be a speech therapist).  I will do everything to avoid being called on.  Ash pushed me to try it at one point and after much hemming and hawing, I reluctantly agreed.  And I survived...  It's something I'm still working on...  I will still say no and try to avoid it, but it's something I'm working on.

I learned how to be more patient and flexible.  Not having assigned officer positions has its pros and cons.  We can all brainstorm ideas together and we make decisions collectively.  It can be frustrating though when a decision just needs to be made.  But I learned and continue to learn how to be a team player, even in the times that my idea isn't the one that we go with.

I'm so grateful that God put this team in my life.  Ash, Heather, Dan, Kerrie, Alex, Steve, Nate, and Devon - I love you guys!

"You are Someone's work of art
Just the way you are
And you're shining like the stars tonight
All the pieces of your heart
And all the lovely scars
Are Someone's work of art"

We wrote what we were thankful for on cups and the engineers built us this nice Ebenezer...

Ta-da!