The Proof of Your Love

I absolutely adore this song by for KING & COUNTRY.  The first few lines always hit me really hard:

"If I sing, but don't have love
I waste my breath with every song I bring
An empty voice, a hollow noise"

Woah...

At worship practice we discuss going through the motions of leading worship.  We discuss the times where we've felt most connected with God in worshipping Him.  Often, it is by ourselves.  Why?  Because then one isn't worrying about whether they hit all of the correct notes.  Nobody is afraid of being judged on their worship when there isn't anyone around to judge them.

I know that I'm guilty of going through the motions sometimes.  I'm a perfectionist.  I like to play every note perfectly.  I'm disappointed in myself when I fail to do that.  I hate messing up.

The fact that we are all broken was discussed.  Being broken means I'm not perfect.

During my follow-up with my team leader at the end of Leadership Advance, it was pointed out that I keep people away.  To an extent, I will be open and honest with you, but I will still find ways to keep you from figuring out who I am and/or who I was.  After all, I still want others to think I've got it all together.  I don't want people to know where I've been or where I've failed.  I think it's because I feel like there are people who don't think that anyone can change.  But I'm telling you that Jesus can truly change you.  Often, the people I have the hardest time letting in are fellow Christians.  Shouldn't those people be the easiest to let in?  I wish they were, but often I feel judged.  And I know I'm guilty of contributing to that with others.

In all actuality, they're aren't people who are "better" people.  We're all sinners.  We've all messed up and made mistakes.  And we don't have the right to rank sins and compare ourselves to each other.  Sin is sin is sin.  Get over it.

I don't want to waste my breath with each song that I sing.  I don't want the songs I play to be a waste.  I want to be really worshipping and not going through the motions.

And I know that God's just waiting for me to ask Him to handle it all...

"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ² If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. ³ If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

⁸ Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. ⁹ For we know in part and we prophesy in part, ¹⁰ but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. ¹¹ When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. ¹² Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

¹³ And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." (1 Corinthians 13:1-13)