The Motions

"Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our "God is a consuming fire."" (Hebrews 12:28-29)

Wow, we are called to worship God with reverence and awe!  How often do I just go 'through the motions' of worship without really recognizing how amazing our God is?  I know there are times where I do remember this and can just let go, but other times, I know I'm too busy concentrating on not messing up.  I've been thinking a lot about how to just be at a point where I'm not so focused on every note I have to play.  Tonight I sat down at the piano and said to myself, well, let's just see if I have some of this memorized.  I find that even if I've played a song a million times, my nose will still be in the score just in case.  In case of what?  I don't know... Maybe the notes will rearrange themselves or something.

I just asked God to show me that I actually have something memorized.  I started playing and found that my fingers easily flew through all the patterns.  Instead of focusing on the music, I was able to just think about what the song says and focus on God.  Occasionally, I needed a chord here and there, but instead of using full scores, I had a chord chart I could glance down at.

I've found that when someone is so passionate about something, it shows and other people want it.  My favorite ballet teacher in college once called me out in front of the whole class and had me go to the center of the room.  I had no idea why... I have studied dance for years, but I'm really not a good dancer. And ballet was definitely not one of my strengths.  But he had me dance what we had been working on all semester by myself, with the entire class (that included dance majors) watching.  And as I did, he told the class that although I wasn't a great dancer in terms of technique, he'd rather watch a dancer like me than the best technical dancer in the world because I had the passion behind the number.  And when you have that, it draws other people in and makes them want what you have.

His point reminds me tonight that if I spend all my time worrying about every single note that I have to play, nobody will see just how much I love God.  When I'm leading, I don't want people to see me performing, I want them to see God.

"I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking
"What if I had given everything?"
Instead of going through the motions."