But for the last several hours, I've just been writing. And it's not easy. I did finish a song, but I spent the time begging for the words to come. And they did slowly. It's honest. I don't know if anyone will actually like it or anything, but it's a start.
Basically, I'm learning that God can take all the mess that my life is and use it. That's so awesome!
We finished our affirming activity in Missional Community last night (the one where I had to go last, remember?)
Here are the words that people believe to be true about me:
- Artist
- Assertive
- Authentic
- Called
- Committed
- Controlled
- Creative
- Deliberate
- Determined
- Encouraging
- Genuine
- Gifted
- Honest
- Influential
- Listening Heart
- Loyal
- Meek
- Organized
- Original
- Passionate
- Real
- Risk-taker
- Sacrificial
- Secure
- Strong
- Sympathetic
- Talented
- Watchful
That's quite a list... And I admit to tearing up a bit. It was so amazing to hear what other people see in me because I'm often overly critical of myself. The top one was talented. I forget that I am talented. There are so many other people out there who have a great deal of talent and sometimes I forget that I am too. Determined and strong were high up there too. Sonia started the tears when she said she picked determined because she sees how I keep pushing through and keep on going even when it's really hard. And maybe the oddest one was risk-taker...at first. But Ash explained why he picked it. He talked about how there are a lot of things that are scary for me. And I could go hide in a corner and never see anybody again, but I force myself to do a lot of scary things.
I guess this post might seem like it's all over the place. And I'll admit that it kind of is, but at the same time, I'm figuring out just how much I am cared for by the people around me and God. God has blessed me so much here. And I'm so thankful that He can use me and He's not done with me yet.
"I know You see me in the dark
And hear me crying out
I know that You've given me life
I can't feel worthless now
I feel You here
Reaching for me
Yes, I'll take Your hand
I surrender
Everything
You can use my life"
http://raevynnnicole.bandcamp.com/track/you-can
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