Promise of a Lifetime

In Missional Community we talk about the things that hold us back.  We discuss "what things can lead you to think, 'I have nothing to offer...'"

The first one that comes to mind is what I've been.  Since I don't have one of those beautifully "perfect" testimonies, I feel like somehow I can't connect with those who are seeking.  Why?  Because I feel like they would think that I am fake or a hypocrite and I'm just lying to myself about who I am with Jesus - that others wouldn't think that yes, I have been changed.

But I hear God ask, 'what happened when you shared your story with hundreds of people?'

Well...people were really supportive and told me how much they appreciated it and... Oh...

As I thought through this further later on in the evening, I heard Him say 'you're still scared.'  And He's right... I'm still scared and maybe still a little angry for the things that have happened to me.  And I thought I had dealt with all of that and could just move on, but I'm realizing that there are still things that I've buried down so deep that I choose to think are fine and we'll just leave them there.  But leaving it be wasn't going to happen tonight.  And as I often do, I had a bit of a power struggle with God.  (Which is never the best idea...)

-"Fine!  Yes, I am still scared.  How do I know that You're not going to leave me when I need You?"
-"Never will I leave you or forsake you."
"But You weren't there when I needed You.  Didn't You see what happened to me?!"
-"I was there.  I've always been there.  And my heart broke when that happened to you."

And the conversation went on.  Bad things happen because we live in a fallen world.  God never left me.  He was always there waiting for me to stop pushing Him away.

Author Leila Rae Sommerfeld writes that "Worry is anticipating that something bad might happen.  Worry is Satan's lies translated into fear."  She also writes that fear can be crippling, but why be bound by fear of the future?  God's already there.

My friend discusses that we are works in progress.  And just because God's working, doesn't mean He's finished.

I'm glad He's not finished with me.


"I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety." (Psalm 4:8)

"I know You're always there
To hear my every prayer inside
I'm clinging to the promise of a lifetime
I hear the words You say
To never walk away from me and leave behind
The promise of a lifetime"