"If you don't like it, change it."
Change it? How am I supposed to do that? See where I've screwed up everywhere in the last seven years? I can't fix it.
"Then be miserable."
I'm 24. I probably have many, many years left... Do I want to be miserable for the rest of them?
Well of course not!
"I'm not going to get through this week without You," I prayed.
"I'm still here."
"Then fix it!"
"Trust Me."
"Oh, God, haven't we gone over this lesson before?"
"Have you learned it?"
"No... But I'm sorry, this is not where I thought I'd be."
Pretty sure God just laughed at that point. But isn't His plan better?
"I gave you these gifts and talents for a reason, Raevynn. Are you using them?"
"No..."
"Why?"
"I don't know where to start."
"Somewhere."
Somewhere... It would be so much easier if I could have full written instructions and maybe some pictures that go along with them. But God doesn't work that way.
I dragged myself out of bed to go get ready. I wish I could say that magically everything was better and I had at least a list of directions, but that wasn't the case.
But I do know that God's still here with me. And is forever patient with me even when my attitude sucks.
I was reminded of this song this morning:
"No matter who you are you’ve got a voice
Why don’t you use it
Sing your own song take all the noise
And make it into music
La da da da
La da da da
La da da daaaa
La da da da
La da da da
La da da daaaaaaa
La da da da lift up your voice
Let love cut through the American noise
La da da da you have a choice
Let love cut through the American noise
You’ve got a voice
Let love cut through the American noise"
Very fitting... Given that I often feel voiceless. And for me, I always feel like a failure as a musician.
Lots to think about.
I love this Raevynn. This is so encouraging! What a great reason to get out of bed - because we have gifts and talents to use for the Lord and to encourage people to get to know Him too! Thanks for sharing :)
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