Most people don't have the kind of relationship I have with my grandparents. My mom's parents lived next door to me growing up and long after we moved out of those houses, they were never very far away. With all our crazy schedules, they usually picked us up after school at least once a week (and there was always candy in the car.) When I broke my arm, my grandma was the one who dragged me to all my PT appointments and made me laugh even when it hurt. They came to all my dance recitals, piano recitals, voice recitals, violin recitals, community theatre shows, and every single school concert.
I think one of the first things I remember is my grandma, who was always so patient, teaching me how to knit. I was about 5. She had warned me that it wasn't easy, but I *really* wanted to learn, so she agreed to teach me. Not being the most patient person, I eventually got frustrated and chucked my knitting needles across the room. Instead of being mad, she just put it all away for a little while and we tried again later. Eventually I learned. Then I wanted to learn how to sew... I had an antique Singer sewing machine and she taught me how to use it and then helped quite a bit with my mom's Christmas present - new placemats and cloth napkins. And really, the only reason they looked halfway decent was because she helped me so much. (My nickname at the sewing machine was 'leadfoot.') My grandma could sew anything. She made me the dress for my favorite Halloween costume - Nancy Drew.
She taught me many important life lessons too. The pastor at the service put it this way - it's best to look through the windshield and not the rearview mirror. My grandma did not have a happy upbringing. We didn't discuss it and she didn't complain about it...ever. In fact, my grandma didn't complain or whine about anything. Her childhood was never an excuse to behave poorly as an adult. She never blamed anything on her crummy childhood. I have difficulty feeling sorry for people who blame their choices and their actions on the fact that they had a crappy childhood/upbringing. I'm sorry. That sucks. Move on. Make your life better. She and my grandpa taught me that you pull yourself up by your bootstraps and you keep going. Is life unfair? Yes. But you make the most of the cards you've been dealt.
And the most important lesson she and my grandpa taught me? Love.
My favorite definition of 'love' is the one Brad Henning uses - "Love is choosing the highest good for the other person." My grandparents were a shining example of how that works. Henning's definition shows that love is not a feeling. Feelings are fickle. Love is a choice. And you choose to put that other person first...or you don't and your marriage falls apart. Anyways, my grandparents were married for 61 years. And I know that they truly loved each other. My grandma lived her life as a homemaker. She took excellent care of their house. She made sure everything ran smoothly in their home. She took good care of my grandpa and he did the same for her. I'll never forget when she had hip and knee replacement surgery, he gave her a pedicure to make her feel better.
And when she got sick with Alzheimer's...none of us knew. He compensated so much for her and for several years we didn't even know she had it. He chose the highest good for her - letting her continue to live normally. He was always by her side, even staying the night at the hospital in a chair so that she wouldn't be scared and no one would mess up her medication. And he was there holding her hand when she met Jesus.
The older I get, the more concerned people seem to be over whether or not I'm married or engaged or even have any prospects. The answer is no...to all of those questions. I want what my grandparents have and I don't intend on settling for less.
I miss her so much. But I know she's not in pain anymore and she's with her Savior. And I'll see her again someday.
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