"You have arthritis."
What? I'm in my mid twenties... How do I have arthritis??
And since getting hurt in dance two years ago, I don't remember what it's like to not be in pain anymore... And now with this, it doesn't look like I'll ever get there.
What can I do? More physical therapy... Yay...
More than anything I just wanted to hear that it was going to get better. Will I ever be a prima ballerina? No...but I wanted to dance again. I try not to let it interfere with my life and how active I want to be. I can usually do everything I want to do. I may pay for it later, but oh well.
It would be nice to be able to at least lift all my own gear. I'm very grateful to the guys who have stepped up and helped me move my keyboard where I need it. But I don't like to be a burden or really ask for help at all because I don't want to inconvenience anyone else.
Last night I still went out with my friends and hung out with my awesome roommate afterwards. But later in the evening I called my parents.
"Sounds like a character building disease," said Dad.
"That's nice... I didn't want anymore of that!"
And I messaged my friend later, who I knew would understand the "I'm only this old and I have x I'm too young for this." And she pointed out that obviously God has something for us to learn.
Well, I can't say that I'm doing a wonderful job so far. After being more of a klutz than usual this morning and then getting stuck in traffic on the way to work, I was a little done and let God know exactly how I felt about the whole thing... Yeah... I have some things to learn.
It just comes back to the lesson of trust. I have to trust that God is going to get me through each and every day. If I don't, I don't know that I'll make it. Actually, I know I won't make it on my own strength.
"Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters, wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior"
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